Worlds First Pregnant Man

So yesterday I had the glucose diabetes test. At first I told the midwives I didn't want to do it .... I'm sick of 'looking for problems' in this pregnancy. Truth is, I think that the false-positive Downs result and amnio really cast a shadow over being pregnant, and I don't think I've fully come back from it. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know there is definitely a baby in there, but I really don't feel like I will realise it until I'm holding Monkey safe and sound in my arms, God willing.

I bit the bullet and did the test anyway, and they haven't called me back yet, which must be good news!! It was so funny .... you know how I have man hands (really, I seriously do. Mr TC says he likes them because he gets to be 'manhandled' heh heh) well, I have been discovering that everything else about me is man sized too. My feet - already a massive size 10, currently look like two blocks of cement. Mr TC calls them dinosaur feet. I can sleep usually without having to get up and wee .... when I finally do that first one of the morning lately .... lets just say you could knit a small blanket in the same amount of time it takes to empty the man bladder. Without fail, every midwife appt I forget that I have to do a urine sample, but it's never a problem! Here's one I prepared earlier - there must be a backup tank in there! And the way I drink - well, come on. I'm a drinker from way back!! Mr TC is simultaneously amazed and repulsed by what he calls 'the gullet'. I can really, really knock them back.

So when the nurse handed me the fizzy bottle of drink, she asked me to please try and drink it as soon as I could, even if it made me uncomfortable, and let her know as soon as I was done so she could start the timer. Now, I was thirsty. But I slung that baby back in one fell swoop, went to tell her I was done - and she hadn't even sat back down at her desk yet! Sooo funny - she was amazed, "Oh, my!! That must be a new record!!"

Wasn't so funny an hour later when this different woman took my blood - well, attempted to take my blood. I have very good veins - (man veins, obviously) - but she stuck me twice, in both arms!! I nearly asked her to pass it to the expert. (Me. I, ummm, have experience in that area..)

My friend loaned me a Baby Bjorn carrier. I tried it out yesterday with one of Tigers big teddy bears. I was walking around, and said "Hey, Tiger, look at the baby!" He came up and punched it three times in the head! I'm sure he'll make a great big brother, honestly!!

The other day, Mr TC was chattering on about prams and names and feedings .... surprised, I said oooooh, look at you, talking about the baby!! He said "Awwww, hon - I'm starting to really look forward to it. But don't tell anyone!!" I told him that's the best thing he's said to me in a year.

Gemini Girl, I keep forgetting to answer you - we seriously don't know if Monkey is a boy or a girl. I can't believe I don't know - I have to know EVERYTHING. This week, I really would love a little boy. I honestly don't mind though. Sometimes I feel like I would have liked to know so I could bond better .... but, EVERYTHING about this has been carefully known and planned from the start. Aint no surprises in IVF ..... I even should be having a planned caesarian. So to have one big surprise will be nice.

I work from home as a freelance writer, for different magazines. I've had the biggest nosedive with my work - I've lost all motivation and drive for chasing up article commissions, and lately have felt like quite a loser. Recently, Mr TC said "Geez hon, you're not earnin' much, are ya!" I said I know - but isn't the house clean!! Aren't the meals thoughtfully prepared, and so beautiful!! He agreed - he doesn't have to lift FINGER to do any domestic duty. We have friends who are married, and they keep arguing because both want the other one to be a stay-home parent. I'm hoping to do both - work from home and be the stay-at-home parent. I know I can, I just need to find my mojo again.

Right now, I would like to throw my motherfucking laptop out of the window. Instead, I shall post proof of my Wheel of Fortune experience .......


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The two hottest bridesmaids in all of the land ........

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Me, with the belly of a balding 47-year old fat guy ......

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I am so grateful, amazed, and overwhelmed to be standing here, 28 weeks pregnantino ...

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xoxoxoxo