Thursday, 12 February 2009

Hello Again.

I get mortified every time I come here, recent posts are just so angry and terrible.

All I can do today is write two articles, cook dinner, and pick Tiger up from school. My head is mush. I don't meant to WHINE ..... but the last month has been the hardest, since May last year. I KNOW I have been having a breakdown. Fucking cancer, fucking everything.

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Last weekend, as soon as I found out about the fires, I rang Mr TC to see if he was ok. He was at his mums house with stepson. My toe was black and purple, but I cried on the phone to him and told him I can't argue with him anymore. Just come home.

We haven't gone away together since our honeymoon - four years ago.

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Thank you so much for your wise wise love and encouragement. You have helped my family get well again. I would go camping with ALL of you, in a heartbeat. XOXOXOXOXOXOOXOX

6 comments:

areyoukiddingme said...

Accept nemesis, yes. Trust her? Well, maybe not quite yet...

So glad you get to go on a little break! Either a weekend with the Mothership of Anger will make your boys appreciate you more, or she'll have become a different person that you don't even recognize. Either way, a couple days away does wonders!

Miranda said...

hey, if Kathy really is from Illinois, I can go kick her ass for you. Indianapolis is right next door;)

Have fun with the hubby!

dee said...

Enjoy your time away. Moms need those breaks to become 'whole' again so don't ever feel guilty for wanting a little alone or couple's time.

My husband and I are going to Bermuda next month for my 40th (!) b'day and my mother will be watching my kids for the five days we're gone. Like you, I have had a 'troubled' relationship with my mom for a long time and have been resistant to leaving her alone with the girls before....alas, watching her with them on the visits she pays us now, I realize that she is a different grandparent from the mother she used to be.

Regardless, I'm still worried about what she could potentially do to damage my girls' psyches while we're away; after all, she fucked mine all to hell and back.

Hoping like mad that your time away brings you back to a smooth-running house with children who had fun while you were gone but who are glad to have you home again (which is the same thing I'm wishing for myself next month).

Oh, and 'eff' those drive-by bitches from Illinois, Australia, wherevs, whatevs. They're not worth the time of day.

MrsSpock said...

I totally cop to snooping in my mom's dresser drawers in junior high. I found all these letters and journal entries. That's when I learned my dad was schizophrenic. And the terrible things he did to her, and to us, when his mind was in lala land. I should say, be good and don't snoop, when I really want to say, Snoop and tell us what you found!

The girl that had tormented me into almost committing suicide in grade school friended me on Facebook. She had breast cancer (at a young age) and had gone back to nursing school after getting treatment. She's a very nice person now. People do change sometimes.

battynurse said...

People do change but I don't know how much I'd trust at first. But then I'm way to trusting until I've been burned and then way not trusting enough. Have fun this weekend and I say snoop away. I hate to say it but she probably will be too.

jbondsgirl said...

I keep forgetting to come over here and check the Sekrit Batcave for posts! I hope you are having a smashing time away and that you've not only made whoopee in the laundry but also snooped to your heart's content. Damn right you should go get those letters.

I am glad that Mr. TC is starting to process his emotions, even if he's not saying very much right at the moment. I think he'll open up more from here, though it may go slowly. This is a good start!

And YAY! for being able to release your anger and bitterness at Nemesis! Dude, you carried that dead duck around long enough and now you are FREEEEE! Take a long exhalation and enjoy it.

Kathy from IL can suck a dead bear. I've said all I need to say about her.

My dad says hi to you, btw. He would have shared his sandcastle cake with you if you'd been close. :-)

xoxoxoxoxo!!!
Flicka

xoxoxo
(Extra for the days I missed)