Wednesday, 27 February 2008

Worlds First Pregnant Man

So yesterday I had the glucose diabetes test. At first I told the midwives I didn't want to do it .... I'm sick of 'looking for problems' in this pregnancy. Truth is, I think that the false-positive Downs result and amnio really cast a shadow over being pregnant, and I don't think I've fully come back from it. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know there is definitely a baby in there, but I really don't feel like I will realise it until I'm holding Monkey safe and sound in my arms, God willing.

I bit the bullet and did the test anyway, and they haven't called me back yet, which must be good news!! It was so funny .... you know how I have man hands (really, I seriously do. Mr TC says he likes them because he gets to be 'manhandled' heh heh) well, I have been discovering that everything else about me is man sized too. My feet - already a massive size 10, currently look like two blocks of cement. Mr TC calls them dinosaur feet. I can sleep usually without having to get up and wee .... when I finally do that first one of the morning lately .... lets just say you could knit a small blanket in the same amount of time it takes to empty the man bladder. Without fail, every midwife appt I forget that I have to do a urine sample, but it's never a problem! Here's one I prepared earlier - there must be a backup tank in there! And the way I drink - well, come on. I'm a drinker from way back!! Mr TC is simultaneously amazed and repulsed by what he calls 'the gullet'. I can really, really knock them back.

So when the nurse handed me the fizzy bottle of drink, she asked me to please try and drink it as soon as I could, even if it made me uncomfortable, and let her know as soon as I was done so she could start the timer. Now, I was thirsty. But I slung that baby back in one fell swoop, went to tell her I was done - and she hadn't even sat back down at her desk yet! Sooo funny - she was amazed, "Oh, my!! That must be a new record!!"

Wasn't so funny an hour later when this different woman took my blood - well, attempted to take my blood. I have very good veins - (man veins, obviously) - but she stuck me twice, in both arms!! I nearly asked her to pass it to the expert. (Me. I, ummm, have experience in that area..)

My friend loaned me a Baby Bjorn carrier. I tried it out yesterday with one of Tigers big teddy bears. I was walking around, and said "Hey, Tiger, look at the baby!" He came up and punched it three times in the head! I'm sure he'll make a great big brother, honestly!!

The other day, Mr TC was chattering on about prams and names and feedings .... surprised, I said oooooh, look at you, talking about the baby!! He said "Awwww, hon - I'm starting to really look forward to it. But don't tell anyone!!" I told him that's the best thing he's said to me in a year.

Gemini Girl, I keep forgetting to answer you - we seriously don't know if Monkey is a boy or a girl. I can't believe I don't know - I have to know EVERYTHING. This week, I really would love a little boy. I honestly don't mind though. Sometimes I feel like I would have liked to know so I could bond better .... but, EVERYTHING about this has been carefully known and planned from the start. Aint no surprises in IVF ..... I even should be having a planned caesarian. So to have one big surprise will be nice.

I work from home as a freelance writer, for different magazines. I've had the biggest nosedive with my work - I've lost all motivation and drive for chasing up article commissions, and lately have felt like quite a loser. Recently, Mr TC said "Geez hon, you're not earnin' much, are ya!" I said I know - but isn't the house clean!! Aren't the meals thoughtfully prepared, and so beautiful!! He agreed - he doesn't have to lift FINGER to do any domestic duty. We have friends who are married, and they keep arguing because both want the other one to be a stay-home parent. I'm hoping to do both - work from home and be the stay-at-home parent. I know I can, I just need to find my mojo again.

Right now, I would like to throw my motherfucking laptop out of the window. Instead, I shall post proof of my Wheel of Fortune experience .......


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The two hottest bridesmaids in all of the land ........

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Me, with the belly of a balding 47-year old fat guy ......

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I am so grateful, amazed, and overwhelmed to be standing here, 28 weeks pregnantino ...

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xoxoxoxo




10 comments:

Angie said...

Great belly pics! You look great!

Chas said...

You really do look great!

I wish I could have considered whether I wanted the glucose test when I was pregnant with Lila. They didn't make it an option, and of course I failed with flying colors. I barely passed the 3 hour test they then made me do, but they still put me on the GD diet, which wasn't the worst thing ever. The most annoying part was that it was all done so that my baby didn't turn out gigantic...and then she weighed 5 lb. 9 oz....so next time...I'm not going on the diet...PERIOD!!

Gemini Girl said...

First of all- you know I luv ya! lOve your posts, and BTW if youre home you can post more. No excuse. I get worried if I dont read a post for a week.

I understand the mom thing, believe me. My mom wasnt as terrible as your mom sounds, but she did her fair share of damage to me and my brother (took years of therapy for me to get over- my brother has major ocd and is on antidepressants). She would put me down a lot- when I was bad. Just bec a child dosnt do what you want, does not give you the right to call him names. To take his/ her insecurities and throw it back in their face. Thats why its hard for me to have my mom watch them during the day. So i comp understand.

I cannot believe you refuse to find out gender. I would die. I just do not like surprises.


BTW- I have a baby gift for you...need your aussie address. send it to me at:

geminidrama64@aol.com

* unless you think Im some kind of freak that will show up at your door with a suitcase. I dont have the money nor the patience for a trip around the world. Not unless Im invited and trying to run away from my family.

Gemini Girl said...

oh, and i too chugged that sweet glucose drink down. the nurse was quite surprised.

I also have man hands- a friend in the 6th grade pointed it out and everyone laughed at me on the bus. I refuse to get manacures till this day.

r.a.w. said...

Whew-what a post. So glad Mr. TC is really looking forward to Monkey's arrival.

I am so sorry that your mother has caused you so much pain. My mom and her siblings went through that at the hands of their father. What a mess. I will say some prayers for your meeting and that the right words will come to you and you won't hold back out of fear - I know that's hard.

And you look so incredible - like the healthiest pregnant woman ever!!

Take care!

Fertilize Me said...

You my dear are quite beautiful!! I am so sorry about the mom thing - that has to be so tough ... But i am very proud of Mr TC!! thinking of you saturday!

Evil Stepmonster said...

wow - a beer belly to match your man hands LOL. Really you look fabulous!

I'll be thinking of you this weekend, what a brave thing you guys are doing. I hope you mum is able to accept it.

FWIW my assvice - don't have her in the house if it will make you uncomfortable, you've had such a tough pregnancy you will want to be relaxed to bond and enjoy little monkey.

Geohde said...

Check out that belly! ;)

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anna said...

Awww- you're adorable, little mama! Nothing manly about those cute preggo pix. It sounds like Saturday will be quite therapeutic...keep yourself centered and calm for Monkey's sake....keep us posted!

Stacie said...

Well then, you are the best looking pregnant man I have ever seen! :-)

Let usknow how things went this weekend. Thinking of you.