Monday, 9 June 2008

Better

Well, things are a bit more manageable here. Some days are definitely much more difficult than others. Mr TC and Tiger are finally back home again ... last night was the first time in three long weeks that we have spent a night here just to ourselves. We ate dinner, lounged on the couch, and watched Greys Anatomy. Just like a normal family on a normal Sunday night. It felt so bloody nice.

For a while there, we thought that Mr TC might have to spend 6 months in hospital doing his chemo (that's what we were told). He doesn't, he can do his chemo once every three weeks as an outpatient. His next dose is in 2 weeks time, I will get a friend to come and stay with us that night in case a trip to the hospital is in order. Mr TC definitely isn't himself, he looks pale and kind of shuffles around now instead of striding around like the proud lion he usually is. He is so, so positive that he will get through this, more than anything he is pissed off that he is going to get sick from the chemo. In a few weeks time, he will have been clean for nine years.

Monkey and I have started venturing out more, it's so strange to see people I know in the street, they go all ga-ga over the baby, ask how everything is going. Then I tell them, and they are just so shocked that they don't know what to say, some have even started crying. It makes me realise how 'big' it is. Such a huge thing to process, our brains are getting used to it slowly, this is our reality, so just deal.

All is not lost .... Mr TC is in with a fighting chance, we have just had a beautiful baby together. Life is much easier to live when I walk it with a spirit of gratitude and love, and find joy in everyday things. Because today really IS all we have!!

Thanks so very, very much for the love and support, especially on that last awful post. (My sister reckons I should ban myself from blogging after 8pm, especially if the baby has been crying!) I have been popping in and out of a few peoples blogs, but not much. So I really do hope to catch up properly soon, thankfully the dust is beginning to settle here and I can think a bit more clearly.

Right now, Mr TC is cooking eggs, Tiger is playing his new Mario DS game (I can't wait to have a go), and Monkey is sleeping peacefully in his basinette. Life is good. Well, maybe not good, but it's definitely much, much better.

xoxoxoxxoxoxo

10 comments:

Caba said...

I've been away from blogs for a few days, so I missed your last post, but I'm so glad to read this one where you seem to be in a better place. But please don't be too hard on yourself. You are dealing with so much, and it's your blog, so if you need to come on here and give a big Fuck You to the universe, I'll be right by your side!

Geohde said...

Glad to hear Mr TC is home and you're all together.

Thinking of you TC,

J

Vee said...

Glad to hear you are feeling better. It is expected to have these ups and downs. I agree with Caba you can always vent in your space we are here to listen to your good days and your bad.

Enjoy your family time.
x

Chas said...

I gotta tell you...I'm so glad to read this post from you. I'm a firm believer that a positive attitude can make a world of difference...not solve all your problems, obviously, but I think it can really help to build morale. Keep your chin up, and if you need anything that I can give, please let me know!!

Stacie said...

There is nothing like being together at home! It makes the world of difference, doesn't it? I hope you all are able to do some fun things together as a family over the next couple of weeks.

Sending love,
Stacie

Betty Boop said...

TC, you are in my thoughts. I've been reading your blog since your BFP and have been thinking about you a lot. I'm glad you are all home together and Mr TC can be treated as an outpatient. Will continue to keep you in my thoughts.

Bee Cee said...

I missed your last post too, due to 'stuff' going on. I really really hope the days continue to go by and the feelings get better and better. Gee, you deserve it.

Gemini Girl said...

Oh tc- you were on my mind throughout my time away- you have no idea. I didnt read the tough post- but I read your post today and you sound so much better. I am sorry all this is happening... but like I have said before- maybe this child is here at this time to bring a bit of sunshine to a cloudy time.

Miss you and sending so much love you way. BTW- Need your home address again. Mwaa.

PaleMother said...

PT for you and all.

I am a new reader ... found my way here by way of Mel's Lost & Found a while back. I always hesitate to introduce myself, feeling a bit like an intruder. Even though blogging is by definition a public thing, blogs often tread on such deeply personal turf.

One of your first posts that I read was about your mom and your family struggles, before Mr. TC's diagnosis. You were self-conscious about what you'd written at the end -- I thought, NO! I responded to so much of what you said.

I thought maybe it was time to express the positive thoughts so you could hear them instead of just leaking them into the ether.

D.

Diana said...

So very glad Mr TC is home with you, where he belongs!!