Topcat & Tiger

Tiger turned six on the weekend. Six! I remember three months before he was born, sitting mesmerized and horrified watching the towers falling in NY, scared about the world he was going to be born into. And scared about how I would handle becoming a mother, after so many years out in the wilderness.

Tiger has taught me so, so much. Corny as it sounds, he has made me want to change into a better person. Wherever he is, I am Home. He is proof that Love has the power to conquer all, even addictions and depression and demons. I wrote a piece on him after he was born, and called it "This New Fierce Love." I love him with such a ferocity - I tell him I love him every day. He is such a warm, smart, sensitive and caring little boy. He has traits that are just his - not from us, but he has developed himself. He is most excited about the baby. He says random things like "When the baby is born, it will need a shower because it will stink. It hasn't had a shower for nine months." My favourite was when he walked up to me and asked me to open my mouth. I did - I had to leave my mouth open while he talked to the baby, so the baby could hear what he was saying. Tiger read out his soccer trophy, and said to the baby that maybe it would play soccer too. Such a wise little man - "Mum, we don't know if the baby is a boy or a girl. But the BABY knows what it is, doesn't it?" (I'm sure that's true!)

I haven't been a perfect mother; impossible. I acknowledge my faults, and say sorry if I have been unfair or cranky. I like to talk about our feelings, to teach him to be aware of the world around him, not take things for granted.

I wish every single mother-in-waiting the chance to realise their dream of having children.