Tuesday, 9 December 2008

Hello it is I, Arsehole

Mr TC goes out every night. This is nothing new, but sometimes I'd like to go out too. Do .. something? Work, work, busy busy hectic. Everything is exactly the same - if not more manic, than before he got sick. His days are a manic mess of madness. I wish his cancer and chemo changed his perspective on his life like it has mine.

For months I've been saying we need to plan a holiday for January. Now there's nothing left to book! No - thing. Unless we drop a mere three grand for a fucking beach house somewhere. So.

Maybe I take the boys and I on holiday somewhere. I'm not joking.
____

Still recovering from Tigers party. Oh. My. Lordy. The jumping castle. The pinata. Pass the parcel. Twenty screaming seven-year olds running around my house. Next year? He can take a mate to the movies. Maybe two mates, tops. It was good, though. He deserved every second of happiness, to be made a fuss of. His friends are all still talking about it at school, saying how "awesome" it was.
__

The pesky PET scan results? Mr TC walks in with them last week, sealed in an envelope.


Me: "Well, open it!"
Him: "I can't! It says don't open them. The appointment with the doc is on the 16th - he'll open it then."
Me: Laughing, trying to grab scans. "Seriously, open it."
Him: "NO! It says I can't."

I freeze, incredulous. "Are you SHITTING me? Are you FOR REAL? You had a mass of tumours, which hopefully are all gone from the chemo - and you're not going to have a look? You're going to wait two weeks? Since when the fuck did you start playing by the rules!?"

Him: Sulkily "Do I have to hide them in my ute?"
Me: Sighing. "Do I have to give you a blowjob to find out if you still have cancer?"
Him: "Deal."

Fifteen minutes later, we walk out of the bedroom and I rip open his scan. We studied the photos, and put the disc in my computer. (First, he puts it in the DVD player. Why is it, after I tell him that only my computer will read the disc, I have to sit there watching his futile attempts at getting it to play on the TV? Why? Why?)

For the second time in our lives, we watch his 3-D cartoon self slowly spin around. Our consensus? We tentatively think there are no tumours. I am a bit worried about his lungs, there seemed to be some hazy blackness in there, but he reckons they are fine. We shall know for sure next Tuesday. Meh.

____


Party pics ...










The Mario cakes, complete with Starcoins and different levels ...



Happy Birthday, big bro!

25 comments:

OHN said...

OH MY GOD..THAT PARTY! You are a very brave woman (or crazy maybe:) I am exhausted just thinking about all those kids in my space.

TC, I completely understand your frustration with Mr TC. If I were there, I would hold him for you, so you could take one really good clean shot to his jaw.

I swear I am married to his long lost twin sometimes.

And Monkey...I seriously want to smother him with kisses.

Wordgirl said...

Wow...what a great party! How awesome for Tiger... (and I'm so jealous that everyone's in summer gear seeing as how its 9 degrees here...)

G is totally like that -- especially about holidays 'well, let's wait and see' -- and yet if you wait and see long enough there's nothing to wait or see about. Perhaps you should take one of those sisters of yours and go someplace wonderful and quiet and recharge...

I've been thinking of you a lot TC...lots and lots.

I wish I could be one of those friends who lives around the corner -- cooking and dragging you out for coffee and holding your baby (although generally I am not a baby-holder -- funny eh?)

The thing about love? It's passionate - it's ups ad its downs -- and it doesn't sound like you two are lacking passion...I wish it were easier.

My love to you TC,

Love,

Pam

Wordgirl said...

Wow...what a great party! How awesome for Tiger... (and I'm so jealous that everyone's in summer gear seeing as how its 9 degrees here...)

G is totally like that -- especially about holidays 'well, let's wait and see' -- and yet if you wait and see long enough there's nothing to wait or see about. Perhaps you should take one of those sisters of yours and go someplace wonderful and quiet and recharge...

I've been thinking of you a lot TC...lots and lots.

I wish I could be one of those friends who lives around the corner -- cooking and dragging you out for coffee and holding your baby (although generally I am not a baby-holder -- funny eh?)

The thing about love? It's passionate - it's ups ad its downs -- and it doesn't sound like you two are lacking passion...I wish it were easier.

My love to you TC,

Love,

Pam

G$ said...

The blowjob for scan results just slays me! haha

Honestly, TC, just do that for everything, including holiday planning :) Marriage is about give and take (and take and take) hahahaha

The party looked amazing! How awesome, can you be my mom? I turn 35 in February, I will be there with 20 of my [imaginary] friends...

xo

bleu said...

AWESOME party mama!!!


OMG I would have KILLED him had he not opened the letter, shit!!! So glad it looks good so far, how maddening to have this shit wait though.

nancy said...

Birthday parties. Good lord they didn't have those inmy "what to expect" books. They are SO freaking tiring! You did a fabulous job though!

Oy on the PET scan. I hope your eyes are what the dr's eye's see too.

Wordgirl said...

By the way everytime I read your title I laugh out loud because my brother and I got into a little tiff because he's Mr. grammar-nazi and insists that everyone should answer the phone 'it is I' -- and I argued that if I taught my students that (when I had them that is) that they would eat me alive, drag me into the middle of the room and tear me apart bit by bit laughing maniacally about how it works in the real world.

"Why is that you on the phone Tanya?"

"Why, yes it is I"

Sorry, total random tangent.

XO

Don't disappear.
Love,

me

Beautiful Mess said...

What an awesome party! Can you do my party next year? I'll go to you or you can come to me, either way, YOU ARE DOING IT! Glad the scan looked good! Enjoy your hiatus and I'm sending you lots of love and hugs!
Enjoy your day!
-D

Me said...

I totally have to bribe my husband with blowjobs too.

Amanda said...

That has to be the absolute coolest jump castle I have ever, in my life, seen!!! No shit! I'm glad the party was such a hit. Good God you make beautiful children TC!

You and Mr. TC crack me up...BJ for PET results...hee hee. Love it! I'm hoping the Dr. agress with your consensus (except for the lung thing).

Yeah, he needs to slow down and smell the roses (or at least the pissed off wife that needs a holiday with her lovely healthy family). Maybe he's still working through fear. (literally working)

geminigirl64 said...

Only you can go from talking baout a birthday party, to talking about blow jobs.

I lURV YOU.

I am praying that there is nothing bad in the scan- that he is clear of the toxins.

And what is this about the book?

Almamay said...

Great, comments are back on. The party looks amazing. Sending you lots and lots of love. x

Evil Stepmonster said...

What a fabulous jumping castle - you must have been queen of the mums that day! I'm glad Tiger had a great day, he deserved it.

You certainly are a beautiful lot, but that husband of yours!! I sure hope that he is cancer free so we can all converge on your place and beat him into submission.

Everyone thinks that you can make so much money running your own business, and sometimes you can, but the workload and the hours and inability to plan anything in advance... I just don't know if its worth it. I wish I had a beach house I could loan you for the summer.

Hang in there TC, we love you girl.

Caba said...

First of all, but an awesome party you threw for your son! I think that's such a great thing you did. You are mom extraordinaire TC!

Well, Mr TC is the other hand is an asshat (I love that word!) I can't believe you had to bribe him with oral sex. Ok, well, yes I can. He is a man. But I can't believe he was seriously considering not looking. I would have done anything to see them too. I really hope you are reading them correctly, and that things are looking good. Always thinking about you!!

Stacie said...

Is it wrong that I would have resorted to stealing instead of a blow job? :-) I could just wait until he was a the height of his snoring, and I would have zero problems. At the moment, I wouldn't want to give him the satisfaction of a blow job! (can you tell I am somewhat annoyed with my hubby?)

Oh, TC, Tiger's birthday looks like it was so much fun! Happy belated birthday, Tiger! I would have said so earlier, but mommy canned the comments on the last post (I still love ya, though). You all needed a little fun and lightness for a day.

Oh, my hubby is trying to make nice and brought home food. Broccoli, even. I am so going to eat a lot and fart at him all night (who said that?) Heh, I imagine that will teach him!

By the way, California is callin...

tobacco brunette said...

Damn. My comment got eaten - I'll try again:

Woowee...that is one kickass party you threw for Tiger, tho he certainly seems to deserve it. Well done, TC!

BJs are currency in our home, too. They're worth way more than the dollar (especially these days). Do you have a physician friend who will take a glance at the scans for you? I can't believe you have to wait two weeks for a medical professional to weigh in. Bullshit! All my most positive thoughts are coming your way.

So jealous of your summer weather. God your little Monkey is gorgeous. Love the pic of him in the swing - he looks like a little football.

Hope you're hanging in there, love.

XOXO

kateypie35 said...

That party looked fantastic!!!!

Glad the PET looked promising, and sorry you had to do the mouth deed to take a peek...bwahaha!

Now, what is this I am hearing about a published book? Where will I be able to get my grubby paws on a copy??

battynurse said...

The party looks like a huge success and you truly are a brave woman to have that many kids over. So the PET scan results didn't have like a typed letter with "impressions" of what the scan contained?? That sucks. I hope it's all good.
Sorry about the lack of vacay. Hope mr. TC figures it out soon how great you are.

Sugar and Ice said...

They really send you test results and expect you not to open them??? That's torturous!

Everyone looks beautiful. Tiger's birthday party seems to have gone off without a hitch, aside from the pinata...I saw what you wrote about it looking like a deflated breast implant, lol. Good think you've got a stepson there to fix things for you :).

Oh, and what the heck is a musk stick? Like deodorant? Sounds terrible.

Vee said...

Just getting around to commenting on this one. I told Max your story yesterday whilst he was holding onto his results and reading the same sticker waiting to see the Onc. We had a good laugh and he thought Mr TC was very clever that he managed to get a Blow job out of it. Argh Men !

I am so hoping there are no tumours.
I hope the wait flies for you.

I love that jumping castle, so cool.

PaleMother said...

Hey TC,

Got a wicked case of strep this week and that's a total body experience, so I've been scarce. Antibiotics just started to kick in after the third dose and this morning I am finally feeling like I might not die after all. Good thing, too, because DH managing the kids is just a nightmare. Last night at about 8pm I lifted my pounding head from my pillow to see DS1 run by with his shirt on backwards. I can only imagine what the teacher thought (I know, it's not fatal ... but how bleeping hard is it to just *LOOK* at your kid?). This morning it's 10 stingy degrees outside and I caught DH trying to: dress DD in a short sleeved shirt and take DS1 to school in a sleeveless down vest. These are just the things that I caught. I could go on, but I won't. It's a good thing I'm not perfect. I can only imagine how hard I would be to live with then.

I was horrified to read that not only do they make you wait for the scan results for an ugodly amount of time ... they actually mail the damn envelope to *YOU* but tell you *not* to open it?! As if cancer weren't torture enough?! That's inhumane. There should be some kind of Geneva convention for patients.

Monkey is absolutely gorgeous. I love that picture of him. And that party looks like it was amazing. You totally out-did yourself.

You scared me this morning ... there was a new post from you in my reader and when I clicked on it, it looked for a second like the message said your blog had been taken down. Scared me.

Thinking of you.

XXOO

D. was here.

vamplita said...

Happy belated birthday to your lovely Tiger! :)

So... Mr. TC's using the ol' BJs-for-PET-scans trick, eh? I'm afraid I'd have to resort to my ol' use-the-fingernails-on-the-johnson trick. Heh.

Yes, ma'am. I am a spiteful, vindictive biatch.

XXOO

vamplita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
vamplita said...

Oh! Forgot my obligatory overgeneralized statement about men. Sorry about that... here you go!

Men: You can't live with them, you can't kill them when you're done with 'em.

OvaGirl said...

Great party TC and FANTASTIC strategy for getting early test results. I hope it all goes well for Tuesday. And thanks for your kind and generous comment. This parenting thing, it really is a fast track to hysteria.