As You're well aware, I'd really like to have a baby. The desire in me is so strong - SO strong. It's been steadily growing for a long time now. I had to wait for Mr TC's treatment to finish - thank You so much that he made it through and he's ok. I'm grateful for so much in my life, truly. I can feel greedy at times for wanting more - but do I just sit back and cut my losses, and be content with my beautiful Tiger? Or do I strive ahead and give this everything I have?
I have been crying a lot lately because I'm shit scared of starting IVF - but even more shit scared of letting go of my dream. I can't seem to get the go-ahead from the doctors, which leaves me in limbo land. God - I don't like Limboland. It sucks.
So - much as I don't want to ... I am handing it over to You. I hope and pray that there is a baby up there for me. But if there's not ... well ... I need to know. I need to make the right choices here, and I need Your help. I'm not in control of what will happen, but I am in control of my reaction to what happens.
I'd appreciate it if You could make my path a little brighter. Because at the moment I can't see.
And God - please, please let Monys little Hef be ok.
love TC xoxoxoxoxo