Ready, Set, GO

I hardly watch tv now I have discovered blogs. Who knew? I see the RE again next week. To sign consent forms, get BCP prescription, look at a bowel gas ultrasound .... I hope I can start SOON!!! AF is due on the 16th June. Bring it on!

I feel anxious, excited, and impatient about starting ivf. It's so DELIBERATE, isn't it. No "oops" involved. I'm in awe of the procedures available. Worried about the shots, and how cranky I may get. I have vowed to myself to keep my "cranky symptoms" to myself, as Mr TC is concerned at how shitty I might be.

Slowly but steadily over the past three years, my pregnancy/baby radar has grown stronger. Bellies, babies, everywhere. The yearning, aching, deep, deepest desire. I don't believe I've wanted anything more. And I just realised yesterday that I don't want everyone to know because it's just PRIVATE. I don't feel ashamed, but if I go through all of this with no baby at the end, well .... I just don't want people to know. I told one of my sisters yesterday - the first person I have opened up to about it. Her youngest just turned 2 - she was so sweet, saying I could have her cot, pram, clothes, etc. omygodthatwouldbesocoolpleasepleaseplease