Wednesday, 5 September 2007

There's Just Such a Long Way to Fall

Is it wrong to publish pictures on your blog of your husband .... when he has no idea of the existence of your blog?

Furthermore, is it wrong to publish pictures of your identical twin sisters who were bridesmaids at your wedding - knowing FULL WELL they read your blog, but doing it anyway, just to gauge their reaction?
The most important question of all would be ... is it wrong to spend your 2WW in a looney bin, because you've gone certifiably insane??

Will I blog about how I think I'm pregnant? Or, I could blog about how I think I'm NOT pregnant. Will I talk about how I have been manically googling 4dp2dt ALL FREAKING DAY, sometimes crying, sometimes hopeful? Lucky my job is at home, in front of my computer. Or, will I mention the loud, lone thought that sifted to the front of my consciousness today "Well, I don't want a baby ANYWAY. So NER!!!!" (I believe I may have been talking to the heavens; not so sure).

***sigh*** To all my poor, poor, fellow peeps in the 2WW quagmire, this one's for you.

Being a recovering drug addict and alcoholic, I enjoy doing things I'm not supposed to do. So, the whole contentious issue that is to POAS or not to POAS ..... I'm pretty fucking sure which side I'm gonna be on. Cruel blow - my 2WW actually starts today. In two weeks exactly, I will know. (I will know). So, of course I'm gonna POAS before then. Probably. Maybe not. Oh, who am I kidding, of course I will. But, nothing is proven until the Beta call. What do y'all reckon? What will/did you do? Pass me the lube - I want tons of assvice.


I'm so sorry to hear of recent bad news with some lovely IFers. It's just bullshit. Meanwhile, the young single junkies are popping their babies out like there's no tomorrow. Here in Australia, you get a "Baby Bonus", I think it's four thousand bucks. And then straight onto welfare. I just don't get it.

To answer a few questions - I only got one embryo transferred because Mr TC is SO paranoid of twins. (I wouldn't mind, myself!) But, seeings how he compromised so much anyway, we only put one in. Plus, my clinic don't advise two at all.

Also, they did actually end up finding my left ovary. It's still sore from the ER - it must be in such a hard to reach place that they really had to scrape at it.

I decided long ago ...(never to walk, in anyone's shadow. Hmm hmmm hmmm ...... oh sorry) Ahem. I decided long ago, that if I actually ever get lucky enough to make it to the 2WW, then I will post the story about how Bono held my hand last year. So that one's coming up.

Did I mention I'm in the 2WW? But that's enough about me. What do you think of me?


r.a.w. said...

Don't worry - I won't tell Mr. TC that you posted him. And you and your sisters are just beautiful!

Good luck with the 2ww - it is sheer torture - and I've only done it with IUIs, not IVFs - I imagine with IVF it's magnified. Hopefully you will have enough distractions to keep you busy.

Off to work - bye!

Reproductive Jeans said...

I LOVE the pictures--cute all around=)

I am just here to offer any support, laughs and whatever else you need to stay sane in the 2ww!

Fertilize Me said...

What a lovely set of people!! the dreaded 2WW. sending you lots of positive vibes for positive pee sticks

** my word verificAtion is BFP ... It has to be a sign!!( i swear to you)

Gemini Girl said...

I think you are great that's what I think!

I also think that it's a big step to post pics of yourself and family. I always freak out when I am about to because I am scared that people that I know may come across it.

You know how I feel about POAS. I am for it. It kind of prepares you either way. But dont do it now! Do it 4-5 days prior to the beta and every day until D Day. That's what I did and it gave me an accurate result.

The 2ww is possibly the worst part of this entire experience. There's nothing more to say. I bled a week after transfer and I was sure it was done. But it was implantation bleeding (which I didnt know at the time) and you can rest assured I googled it to no end. I was always expecting to see blood when I went to the restroom.

Just try not to drive yourself crazy. Whatever will be will be. Rest assured that no matter what you have a beautiful son, a good looking husband by the way, and great loving sisters.

chicklet said...

While I caved last cycle and POAS, it was only cuz the husband was going away. I highly advise against POAS early - if it's negative, you dont' believe it until like CD40 anyway. If it's positive, you'll get all excited, but then you'll have to buy another 10 more expensive sticks to double-check it really is positive. I say POAS the day of the beta so you're prepared for the results, not surprised by them. But til then, wait it out, enjoy thinking it might have worked - cuz it might have:-)

Stacie said...

The 2ww is a torture like no other, that is for sure! And Dr. Google doesn't make things any better--he is another of those doom and gloom people. All I can say is that I have faith in this cycle for you! It will be tough, but you will make it through faster than you can imagine. But, if you do need to visit the crazy ward, I'll be there to keep you company!!!!! :-)

Great pics, too!!!

I POAS--it is addictive, though.

**My code word is "bnnzh" as in bunz in the oven?! :-) Another sign?

Diana said...

I really hope this wait starts flying by for you!!!!

Becks said...

Oh I know only too well the torture that is the 2ww and they've been super nice to me and told me to wait another 5 days!! Hope yours is as stress free as possible and you have great news at the end of it.

The Dunn Family said...

I hope the wait flies by for you. It really does suck. I didn't POAS. Honestly, I was too scared to. I just wanted to hold onto my optimism as long as I could. But that's just what worked for me. Hang in there ... there's no easy way to get through it!

The Oneliner (Christina) said...

oh you are funny. i put pictures of my hubbie on my blog. but that's because he knows about my blog and DOESN'T read it. the shame!
step away from google. behave yourself.
man, i have soooooo much hope for you.

Von said...

Shiny sparkling twinkly star. That's what I think you are.

CANNOT WAIT to hear about GOD. Sorry I mean Bono. Been waiting for that story for a while.
And it's not as if you don't have time to fill. Is it?

Thank you for the photos. So lovely to see the joy.

Mony said...

I need a lay down after that post.
Love the pictures. BEAUTIFUL! It's only wrong to put a picture of your husband's Penis on the net....not a picture of his head (wink)
Just think tomorrow you can google 5dp2dt etc!! FUN! 6dp2dt!
As for the POAS. I couldn't do it. Call me a scardey me optomistic. Call me a muthafucker. I just couldn't do it! Even when I got a POSITIVE BETA!

minus one said...

Thanks for sharing the pictures - they/you are gorgeous, my friend!

The ONLY good thing about the 2ww is that it ends. I understand the whole POAS dilema...not sure I can offer any advice as I don't know what I am going to do yet.

Good luck!

Drowned Girl said...

Just wishing you luck