Well. I have MUCH to say. So please get comfy! Firstly, I'm still in shock ... that my husband is so freakin virile. I'm still dumbstruck by Thursday's Cup Overfloweth Sperm Episode. I've slowly realised that I really, honestly thought that he wouldn't have any sperm left. That at least going to all this trouble would stop any relationship issues down the road. Of course, I hoped and dreamt, but during the treatment my mind has tried to stay calm, not letting me get carried away with the whole Baby Dream, lest the fall be too much.
To have 22 eggs retrieved - out of which 12 fertilised, 1 was transferred yesterday, and 8 were frozen. Now, I have slowly realised that my clinic should be called IVF's-R-Us ... I have never seen the same doctor or nurse more than once, so personalised care is non-existent. So I don't even know their criteria for freezing - but the scientist (that's what they call themselves!) was pleased with the whole nine.
Watching my embryo transfer yesterday, I was dumbstuck, dumfounded, enthralled, excited. I didn't even mind spreading my legs! (Well, maybe a bit.) However, thanks to this post of Geohde's, all I could think about was - what size speculum had he used, and more importantly, are my vaginal walls meeting in the middle?
I couldn't wait to see the embie. I wanted to take a photo of the monitor - but instead, I actually had to hold the ultrasound to my uterus! I had to help the doctor! In another room, the scientist was getting the embie ready - and there it was on screen, all four cells, waving hi. Look mum, no hands! Un-freakin-believable! Like an episode of Star Trek! Through the microphone, the scientist said "Topcat, C. Whiskers, is that you?" His voice was so distorted, it actually sounded like "Meat or bean or half and half?". I had to confirm the embie was mine, then watched it get sucked up in the catheter "Wheeeeeeeee" - he comes in and hands it to the doc, who told me to watch the screen. I did - and saw the precise moment he was shot into my uterus. It was like a shooting star in a galaxy. "I saw it! I saw it!" I was so giddy. "Wow! OMG! That is SO amazing! Isn't that amazing?" The doc just nodded, amused. "I guess you're used to it now, hey." He said he was. Aware I was babbling, I couldn't stop. "It's still amazing though!Wow!"
I walked out, four cells heavier. I thought that it would have been more than four, but the scientist said they like them to be four at 2 days old. Had an HcG injection, given a date to return for a blood test (September 19th - 17 sleeps away!) Then drove home. In amazement. I rested as much as I could yesterday - the nurse said I didn't have to rest, to go and do something nice for myself. But I wanted to lie down. Felt a bit fragile, not wanting to move around much.
So, my scientific quest on "What the cells are up to now" .... has led me to some interesting discoveries. For instance, technically, the embie should still be travelling in the tube towards my uterus. Being released early, for good behaviour, makes me wonder what's going on in there? Is the embryo just like a pinball, cruising around wherever it wants? I guess it's instincts will lead it over to implant ... or not. How incredible. How totally ..... random. This is all such a big gamble, really.
All bets are off, at this point. The roulette wheel is still spinning. Black or red? Implant or die? Pregnant or not? Ecstasy or heartbreak?
I did POAS yesterday, just to see how strong the second line would be, so I will have something to compare the inevitable future pee sticks to. I'm feeling calm. A few silly thoughts .... I feel like a Coca Cola IT'S A CRAVING! Twinges down below I'M OVULATING! I love my husband so much HORMONES KICKING IN! Undoing my pair of socks this morning, foolishly punching myself in the tummy - hard YOU'VE KILLED IT! Don't count your chickens I'M PREGNANT UNTIL PROVEN OTHERWISE!
I overheard Mr TC talking about the transfer on the phone today, saying "Yeah, she got her eggs implanted yesterday." Don't know HOW I managed to keep a straight face.
Now, before you think I'm a freaking lucky bitch, how dare I have such a fucking successful outcome this far - AND I already even HAVE a kid, for fucks sake ..... guess who has a motherfucking urinary tract infection? Give you a clue - it's me. So I'm quite (very) worried already. (Note to self - do NOT google pregnancy + antibiotics at three o'clock in the morning when you already can't sleep.) I rang IVF's-R-Us this morning, useless. Visited a GP today, who took a urine sample that he'll get back in 2 days. I'm worried that a)my precious 4 cells are getting attacked by evil bacteria b) my precious 4 cells will get attacked by evil antibiotics, if I take them.
I got it either during egg collection, or from the Crinone applicators. It burns after I do a whiz - not pissing razorblades yet, hopefully it won't get that bad. My urine sample was quite clear though, not cloudy - so maybe I just have a sore urethra? I can't do anything about it right now, so I may as well try not to worry too much. (Ha ha).
That's all my news. Terribly self-obsessed at the moment, and have hardly left comments for anyone, sorry. The whirlwind is slowing down. The lovely Amy R has just had her transfer too - she recently nommed me for a Rockin Girl Blogger Award, so I'll get crackin on that soon.
Oh my - I'm in the 2WW.
Today is Fathers Day down here in Oz. I made Mr TC a teeny, tiny card. On the outside it said "Happy Fathers Day!" On the inside I wrote:
Thanks for giving me a chance. If this works out, I'm really looking forward to meeting you.
Lots of love,
Your Four Cells xoxoxoxox"
Mr TC nearly cried.