Sunday, 16 November 2008

The Feet on the Fairy

Tomorrow I shall make my escape.

I am going to my sister Tees house, down in Sydney .... I haven't been to her house since April, since I was very pregnant. Since the pre-cancer days. (Pre-cancer days! How I miss you!)

I. Can't. Wait. I need to sloth and not cook and read BLOGS and get my google reader sorted once and for all. I need to watch Tees cable and fart freely* and ponce around the Eastern suburbs in my gold sandals, pretending I am someone.

Now I just need to wrap up all the little pressies I bought for Tiger .... with little notes from me. He can open one a day, just so he knows I am thinking of him. He has found the transition of his big brother living here again a bit hard, lately. They have been clashing, and I see Tiger get upset because he just hates how much power the older sibling has. I get triggered badly, because of my own childhood issues .... sometimes, something innocent or even just "kid-like" can alert my bullying radar. I hate bullying, hate things not being fair. I've had to rope stepson in a few times, nicely, but just let him know I am on to him.

I was worried, about leaving Tiger here with stepson and Mr TC .... so I have done what every good parenting book would say ... and resorted to bribery. I told stepson that if he takes good, proper care of his little bro ... ".. and I mean proper! Because I will KNOW if you don't." - Then I will bring him home a set of earphones he wants for his iPod. (For, he always wants SOMETHING. But, don't we all!?)

Here is Tiger and stepson, mucking around directly under the Harbour Bridge:

I am an arsehole mother lately. It's true - I am. To both Tiger and Monkey. I am short on patience, frustrated, a little bit yelling. I really need some more Mo in my Jo. I need to love them and be nice and know how lucky I am.

I have had a post brewing about my feelings for Monkey, for months now. But I have been too gutless to write it yet. I will, because it keeps tapping me on the shoulder, demanding to be written. It's muck, that I need to shine a big fuckoff light on. It's hard and it's sad, that he got so tangled in the cancer web when he was born. But it was the truth then ... not now. Things are different now.


Last weekend, I made us all drive down to Sydney. To park at Manly Beach, and catch a ferry over to Circular Quay. (Circular Quay is where the Harbour Bridge and Opera House are.) Tiger called it a "Fairy" (as I did, when I was a kid). He kept asking if we could buy fairy floss to eat on it.

We had a pretty cool day. Meaning - we were all getting along well. It is so dysfunctional, my family. Usually, one of us has the shits. The others rally around and try to pull the shitty person out of the slump. We take it in turns to be the shitty one. 

So this day, no-one was particularly shitty. We were all happy that Mr TC was feeling so good - if he feels good, we all feel good. A few more weeks, and it wil be the longest amount of time with no chemo in him. YAY.

Look - the Sydney Opera House is growing out of Monkeys left ear! Clever boy!

I LOVE this photo ... however, I don't love the gut overhang flapping over my jeans:

For more Show and Tells, check out Mel at Stirrup Queens HERE.

*Ummm, I fart freely anyway. I have to - if I didn't I would blow up like a blimp and float over the Southern Hemisphere forever. Mr TC is disgusted, because, obviously I fart louder and stronger than him. He thinks women shouldn't fart. Obviously, he married the wrong woman.


MrsSpock said...

I am in awe at your farting prowess.

I now have "shine a fuckoff light" to add to my vocabulary.

The Monkey is turning into quite the handsome boy.

OHN said...

This is not a lie....or an exageration. Until my boys were 8, I had them TOTALLY convinced that women could not fart. I always blamed the dog and they believed me until they were spending the day at my neighbors house and she let one rip when bending over to get the pizza out of the oven.

The boys came racing home and told me that Chappy had farted! I was wrong, that women DO know how to fart!

To this day, I have never told her that she blew my cover.

Oh, and you are SO NOT suffering from gut overhang!

Dora said...

What a fabulous looking family! Have a great chill at your sisters.

a farter

battynurse said...

Great pictures. Have a good time at your sisters.

Vee said...

I love the photos, looks like every one had some fun. Have a great time at your sisters !

Geohde said...

Mate, one of my daughters burps and farts like a truckie. No shame in it :)



r.a.w. said...

S thinks women don't poop... and he married a woman with irritable bowel syndrome... what does he think I do in there???

nancy said...

Is it really called "fairy" down there and not "ferry"? The title made me think of that all those feet pictures were those of "fairies" (aka - gay, which is derrogatory, but I don't mean it like that) OR those were the feet of 4 fairies and the picture just didn't show your wings.

okay, now I actually have to read the post.

nancy said...

oh damn, you already knew about the ferry/fairy. I thought I was being oh so clever and funny.

My god, I love the picture of you and monkey (and the opera house). He's simply freaking perfect!

And how old is stepson? He looks like he's 25.

Evil Stepmonster said...

Have a great week in the big smoke.

Wordgirl said...

ACK -- I'm soooo behind on reading and commenting and I'm NEVER behind on reading you my lovely red-haired time-twin who is so much sassier than I could ever be...but I had that blog emergency which threw me for a loop and now I'm off to see an infant --eek!

(See it's all about me in this comment)

OMG - I could hardly say the word fart until I met G and it still makes me laugh kind of -- but I consider it development towards my embracing life that I can let one go and W & G just laugh and laugh ---that's what I get for marrying a germanic sort -- everything is very down-to-earth.

Thoughts: You are gorgeous -- as are your boys

You are, I don't doubt, a wonderful mother -- you can't do it all love, but you know that -- sometimes the pressure of it all just has to go somewhere -
- as long as you tell them how much you love them -which you no doubt do -- how can it go wrong?

Ah, big brothers. I was always the littlest of much older siblings -- for me it was mostly difficult feeling so out of the loop and dismissed -- power is such a big thing for boys Tiger's age -- they hate it that they arent' the big boys yet -I see that in W -- wanting to be so old -- and i want him to just slow down because soon enough he'll truly be all non-chalant and tough and aloof....

I can't wait to hear all about your trip.

I'll miss you when I"m out of virtual contact!

Love love love,


Beautiful Mess said...

Great pics! Ya'll are adorable! Have fun at your sister's. I wish you some peace and to heal.
Enjoy your day, hon.

Anonymous said...

In Canada we don't really have a pronunciation difference between fairy and ferry. I spent a semester of university in Australia and once made a comment about taking the ferry somewhere. At least that's what I thought I was saying but the Australians I was with just heard me say I was taking the fairy. Took me a while to figure out what I was saying that was so funny.

bleu said...

First off only you would notice anything about your belly other than you look AMAZING in that pic.

Second, sad true story...pre Bliss I had HUGE issues with ever farting where someone heard. To the point I once broke up with a boy over him saying I farted out loud, which I did, and me being unwilling to admit it. If I farted in front of roomie, I would cry I kid you not. I shudder at how my potty training must have been to make me sooooo freaked out about it. Then I got pregnant with Bliss and it all went away. I had farts that pregnancy that felt almost as good as sex and I cared not who heard. I no longer have my issues about it and am glad to be free. lol