Sunday, 30 November 2008

Hay While the Sun Shines

I've worked out what seems to be wrong with Monkey ... he's scared!!

The poor little sweetheart. If he sleeps through, til about 4am, he's fine. If not, and he wakes up any time before then, it's a screaming frenzy. It happened just then ... I went in, and he grabbed my hand in a panic and drew it close. He's so scared, and wants me near. I stay near.

We'll just fumble our way through, as usual.

In other, even more fearful news ... Mr TC is worried. He doesn't look good, has a big lump on his face, and today he asked me to feel his tummy for any tumours. His scan is in a few days, so I guess it's just on his mind. It must feel very strange, after chemo, waiting on scan results. Is that a lump? Am I sick again? Why do I feel so crap? Who was the second gunman on the grassy knoll?

Mr TC wins the husband of the year award this weekend! Both mornings he has got up to Monkey, took him and Tiger out for a walk, and at 9am, arrived back home to wake me up .. with a soy latte AND the paper for me. Motherfucking hero! Then, we just had family time all weekend! And, he was interested and thoughtful, bought me a bunch of flowers, and told me how sexy I look lately!!! WTF!

Last week, Tiger said "Mum, I really want to see the movie Australia." So last night I took him. Just me and Tiger, on a date. I vowed to spend more one-on-one time with him. Time is hard, these days. Parenting a baby, small child, stepson, wife of a sick guy, trying to work from home ... no wonder I kept blowing fuses. I had to pray and be gentle with myself, all weekend. Feeling SO much better.

Now, as for watching the film "Australia" last night ... let's put it out there, I do not think Nicole Kidman can act for shit. I see her on the screen, and think, oh look ... a wooden, stilted person who is trying to act. HOWEVER ... Australia was fucking wonderful, and she was really good in it! I was so, so proud to see the film focus on the whites' treatment of Aboriginal Australians.

It's the most expensive movie ever made down here .... us Aussies have a nasty habit of cutting down all our tall poppies, all the people who make it "big" and daring to give things a go. Baz Luhrmann has been castigated for audaciously naming his film, and the press are itching to call it a flop. But it won't flop. I loved it. Tiger loved it ... I was so proud of him, sitting there next to me. He was enthralled, and didn't get bored once. I kept kissing him and stroking his arm. Fuck I adore that boy ADORE.

Afterwards, we played air hockey, pinball, and a shooting game with rifles we re-loaded and hunted grizzly bears in the forest. PISSING ourselves laughing.

I had the best weekend. We are so fortunate. Yes I have felt the Big Fear around Mr TC again, thoughts flying around our heads. Yes the news of Patrick Swayze jolted us both, sitting at the park today, reading the newspaper together.

There has been so much sad news, lately.

I had the strange, unsettled feeling that I had travelled back in time from the future to today, so I soaked and drank and inhaled it in ... I kissed and kissed and kissed my boys, all weekend.

Whatever happens, I am one blessed motherfucker. I don't want to forget that.


MrsSpock said...

Go, Mr TC- not only taking the boys out but bringing back the paper and a latte...

Sad about the Swayze. Pancreatic cancer is not very treatable. My uncle died of it a year ago. There are a lot more options for cancers like Mr TC's. With pancreatic, really it is just buying a short amount of time...

bleu said...

YAY for sleeping in and being pampered a bit.

So sweet re: seeing the movie with Tiger to.

And fucking YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY for you being gentle with yourself, you deserve that!!!!!

Rachel Inbar said...

My grandmother also died of pancreas cancer. Very sad.

We spent the weekend glued to the news from Mumbai - and thinking about the poor 2-year-old who will be coming to Israel without his parents.

Lots of bad stuff out there. Good that you remember to appreciate the good. I was just talking to my brother about raising lots of small kids. He said it's a 'different kind of fun'. I said, 'yea, the kind of fun that we claim to enjoy but actually detest.' When I read about really tragic things, the fact that my life is hectic seems so insignificant.

Geohde said...

I should print out what Mr TC did and show MY spouse!


Vee said...

YAY! for the 1st day of Summer ! I am hoping the sun continues to shine on you and your gorgeous family.
Thinking of you this week waiting for results.
Max's 3pm appointment can't come fast enough today.

Almamay said...

I think letting you sleep in and bringing you a coffee and the papers is true love.

Wordgirl said...

Oh my friend,

We would have an all-night chat session wouldn't we?? I read this earlier and smiled for hours at the thought of you and Tiger at Australia -- I can't wait to see it and when I do I will think incessantly of you.

I'm certain these days waiting are difficult but, like everyone, I'm so happy to hear that the small kindnesses are there -- that moment you speak of -- of time traveling -- it made the hair raise on my arms (and let me tell you there's much to raise -- blond though it may be)... W and I play that same hunting game -- of course we do!!!

I'm just sitting here with tears in my eyes and chills, thinking of you and yours and thanking god I found your blog.


Love and love,


Evil Stepmonster said...

Sounds like a fantastic weekend! Well done Mr TC for stepping up to the plate! It wouldn't be surprising if Monkey was picking up on tension and worry in the house, they are intuitive little buggers.

Wishing the best as always for you and your boys. I hope its a good news week.

Vacant Uterus said...

Wahoo, Mr. TC! I knew there was a good lad in there somewhere. :-) Now he needs to do that every weekend! HAH!

I am dying to see Australia! I have no idea when we'll be able to go since we can't take Sam (such the wet blanket, he is) but I'm glad to hear it's good. I'm not a huge fan of NK either but I was happy for her when she finally had her baby. That was a lot of years of crap she went through to get there.

I'm praying for you guys as you approach scan results. I'm praying for really good news. I wish there was more I could do.


Amanda said...

I'm so glad that you had such a wonderful weekend. It's nice to be able to step into the sun and really soak up all the good that there is to be had! And hooray Mr. TC for starting it off so nicely!

You are all in my thoughts and prayers for only happy results.