Tuesday, 11 November 2008

You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry

Hi. It's me ... the arsehole who never comments on anyones blog lately, because she is so self-obsessed. I have been absent. I haven't wanted to blog ... because I feel messy. And when I blog when I'm messy, it always feels like I have hung all my washing out on the line, made some crackers and cheese, and asked the whole neighbourhood around to watch my big baggy yellowed undies flapping in the breeze.

Feels like some huge waves are crashing down on me, just as I was about to make it to shore. I am not on my computer, so I shall keep it short and sweet.


TIGER: Yesterday he handed out all of his party invitations at school. But he told everybody it was a "Mario" fancy dress party. They can only come dressed up as a character from Super Mario Bros. Which means, all the girls have to come as Princess Peach. I told him to tell everybody today that they can actually wear ANY fancy dress costume and maybe, not all girls want to be princesses?

MONKEY: The baby in the cancer ward. He is almost SIX MONTHS OLD. Soon I may even write a post all about him. Who knew? People say to me ... "Six months!? Wow, hasn't that gone quickly!?" I say ... no, no it hasn't, actually.

STEPSON: Broke my laptop ..... however, we are getting on very, very well. I love him.

MR TC: His PET scan is booked in for early December. We should have the results just before Christmas. So, it'll either be a very great Christmas, or, not so.

Mr TC has now added going to the gym to his list of after-work activities. Every single day, he is either at soccer, or footy, or the gym. He told me that he is not going to change anything in his life, post-cancer. Told me that I was the one who wanted the baby, why should it change his plans.

I handled it very maturely. I threw every single bunch of flowers he gave me in the bin. Except the beautiful Peace Lily, that he thoughtfully chose for my office. I ripped that one out of the pot, flung it around, and scrunched and ripped it to shreds.

THEN I threw it in the bin. I can't tell you how much better I felt. Seriously.

Crackers and cheese, anyone?


Wordgirl said...

Hey --once, in grad school I took all -- and I mean every single one of the manuscripts of my short story that people had so painstakingly marked on and had spent the last half an hour talking about -- and I dumped them ceremoniously in the trash -- as they all watched -- and I glared at them -- and? It felt FABULOUS.

Sometimes it's the only thing you CAN do.

I hate it when our partners don't see the partnership part of the whole business...

and why yes, I'd love a cracker and LOTS of cheese. I'm a cheese whore.

I hope tomorrow is a better day -- it's night here and I, social goddess that I am, am about to go to bed - at nine-ish.


I missed you. We'll have to set up the date to view the 'Australia' film within the same 24 hr period -- I saw it talked about on Oprah today and thought of you as they toured Sydney and showed the Blue Mountains and all sorts of gorgeous things.

Love and more,


MrsSpock said...

My sister studied abroad in Switzerland in college and met this gorgeous Swiss guy who was in a band. He sent his demo tape back home with her to shop around, and then, before he could come over to visit, she heard the scuttlebutt that he was cheating- and he admitted it. She smashed that tape into a million pieces- and it was the only one there was- and sent it back to him in little bits.

And she enjoyed it immensely.

My husband plays hockey every Sat and Sun, and now he has a "game night" playing computer games with friends on Thursday. I am so pissed. I went out this weekend to a REALLY expensive restaurant with a friend. Ha! Take that! Now I just need a regular thing to do to stick him with the baby.

Me said...

I think it's fucked up how men get the luxury of choosing how involved they want to be.

My husband hasn't worked in 2 years. But now that his wound is fully healed and he's off the methadone but still not working, guess which of us spent the weekend cleaning, doing laundry and bills? Yeah. Total bullshit. But if I do anything *crazy* guess who looks bad with the in-laws? I'm just *waiting* to get another "patching things up with your husband" "don't devalue others' choices" emails from his sister"... I swear to God I'm going to claw the bitch's eyes out on Thanksgiving...


Yes, YOUR problems.. uh, I got no advice. Sorry. Good luck.

A Free Man said...

God grant me the serenity...

A Free Man said...

God grant me the serenity...

Geohde said...

TC mate,

Seems like my post today was kind of topical for you too,

"Men" just doesn't cover it sometimes....



Vee said...

I want to come and give Mr TC a big shake and tell him to snap out of it !! Just because he has cancer doesn't mean he has to become selfish. I am allowed to say that , if Max wasn't appreciative of everything I have done for him during his cancer ordeal I would be really pissed...it's not me me me cancer is us us us, it's impact is on everyone....gggrrrr I am angry for you!

annacyclopedia said...

Bloody hell, Topcat. Mr. TC is lucky it's only the flowers and plant you decided to rip into shreds and toss in the bin. If he says anything like that again, go for his footy gear and set it on fire in the yard.

I'm pissed for you that you have to face such bullshit from the one you love. I hope he snaps out of it soon and is properly apologetic and buys you loads of lovely chocolate and then BEHAVES. And stays behaving, forever.

I think of you every day, TC, and I miss you the way I miss people I've actually met. Baggy yellow undies and all. (And truly, are those not the best ones? When the elastic's starting to go and the beast can get a little air?)

Carrie Ann said...

So sorry you're having a hard time with the Mister. Cancer does weird things to people sometimes. Hopefully he'll come around to his senses and kiss your ass!!

Vacant Uterus said...

If you've never tried it, Irish Dubliner is a fantastic cheese. Very good with red wine. We eat it all the time here in Greenland.

Once, when I was about ten, my friend Veronica and I found this GIANT pair of underwear blowing around her backyard. We (correctly) assumed it belonged to the next door neighbor girl's mother and rang the bell to return them. The mom, outraged at the sight of us with her underwear, marched across the street to where my dad was mowing the lawn, told him we'd said she was fat, brandished the undies at him and stormed off. I got a SPANKING for that because he believed her. Yes, okay, I giggled at the enormity of those panties. But geez, she WAS fat! And we were only trying to return them! Dad apologized later when the truth finally came to light but I am forever scarred by large panties. I think I need more cheese now.

PS~ Mr. TC is cruising for a bruising.

Dora said...

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry either. I don't generally get physically destructive, although there was the time I threw a coffee mug across the room at my then boyfriend. The coffee splatters on the ceiling were such an annoying reminder of that fight.

No, I generally just get viciously mean. I tell the truth. The truth can cut very deeply when you wield it with scalpel-like accuracy. I can cut right to the bone with my sharp tongue.

Sorry this isn't more helpful. Grrrrr! MEN!!

Have you 2 considered couples counseling? I have no idea what the attitude is towards this in Australia. I hope it's not like England, where they seem to think it's self indulgent. It's. Just. Not. Done. Here in New York City, it's just normal. My therapist's schedule is so busy that I have to settle for cancellations.

It could help Mr. TC to hear from someone else, "Hey, the past six months have shredded your woman! Think about your priorities, fuckwit!" Alright, a good professional would not resort to name calling. Good thing I'm not a professional. ;-)

BTW, are you and Geohde posting these things to make me feel better about single motherhood? Awww, that's so sweet!

Oh, and I totally agree with Vacant Uterus. Huge panties scare me! I don't even want to think about maternity panties! Yikes! Can you get them so they look small but stretch when you put them on?

battynurse said...

I'm sorry about the argument. I wish I knew what else to say. I'm with you on the destroying things. I've been known to shred pictures when I'm upset. Or throw things. Hang in there sweetie. Hugs to you.

PaleMother said...

So I finally got around to signing up for the blogger thing where you can "follow" other blogs. And they spit up posts onto your dashboard for you. I put the damn widget into my sidebar. I tought that I'd trust the side bar to tell me when to click on my blogs ... instead of straining at my leash like an overgrown, attention starved housebound puppy -- clicking 5 times a day to check for posts whenever I took a little break and sat down.

Well, apparently the widget cannot be trusted, because it led me to miss this post.

That was nice though because I got to spend an extra day thinking well of Mr. TC for going over the top buying you all those flowers.

LOVE the part about the peace lily. I love them, too. Lovely to picture one in your office. I would have done the exact same thing. Well done. Perfect form.

Here's my thing. After that, how do they *not* get it?

Oh, I know. DH lectures me about how if I want someone to *hear* me, I need to be thoughtful. But ... but ... HOW ... does the "Don't Mess With Mother Nature" show ... a violent allergic reaction, really (I should keep an epi pen for my temper)... HOW does that FAIL? I mean ... if they are unmoved by THAT volcanic spew ... don't tell me being tea and crumpets polite (which I do try first, more or less) ... ever so lady like ... how is THAT going to get the job done?

I know. I know. I do know. Just sayin.




PS ... you deserve a medal for the party thing. Double Gah.