Goodness me. Two more sleeps until:
1) We solve the case of the missing ovary
2) I know when/if/how I will trigger.
I have come to look forward to the long drives down and back to the hospital. And I love .... the Gonal F injections. They were the things I was most worried about! I remember earlier this year, finding out EXACTLY what doing IVF entailed, and crying so hard, I couldn't believe how invasive it was. But, I guess you kind of get used to it. It's amazing how we adapt, how the abnormal becomes normal.
So, I'm pretty sure I'm responding well. (Yay!) My tummy feels like this. I have to hold it to laugh. I showed off to Mr TC tonight with my Puffy White Pen, and made him squirm as I shot up. Felt pretty fucking tough.
I can't actually believe that I'll make it to retrieval, it seems so surreal. After all these years. Sometimes I feel like there's a baby up there**, guiding me on, waiting .... and other times I just feel that this will all turn to shit, I'll have a MAJOR meltdown and howl at the Gods and take up smoking again and fly by myself to Paris on a whim. Strange.
I'm right smack bang in the middle of an IVF cycle. It's safe in the middle. I like it here. Big bloated gut and all - it's safe. The beginning was terrifying. And the end?
I have abso-fucken-lutely no idea.
** Up there as in heaven-type up there. Not up-the-vagina kind of up there.