This has been my view this past winter. It shall forevermore be known as "That crazy fucked up IVF winter of 07". (The specks on the ground are woodchips, not skanky mess. I promise). In these last few months, I have seriously worn out a patch on the rug near the fire, as I diligently perused, commented, empathised, cried, and posted. Mr TC pointed it out yesterday - "Look, your heat-hugging has wrecked the rug." No - my blogging has wrecked the rug. But it's saved my sanity! The weather is slowly getting warmer, the countdown is now on for spring. I find myself wondering ... will I have a newborn next winter? Will I? I find myself closer than I ever dared to dream .... leaving me simultaneously exhilarated (that it will happen) and terrified (that it won't happen).
Peculiarly, I'm enjoying the stims. I'm on a mission. It feels so darn PURPOSEFUL. Right after I sniff the Synarel, I find myself counting down until 8.20pm, whereupon I lovingly caress the Gonal-F white puffy pen, twist the dial, change the tip. It doesn't really hurt that much as I plunge it in my belly; the manhand can plunge and release all in one swift motion. I'm not feeling many twinges or movement in the ovary vicinity .... last night I felt bloated and told Mr TC. His response? "You sure you don't need to take a crap?" I looked deeply into his eyes, and said "Wow, you are SO romantic hon." He walked off, laughing. "I know".
Thing is - I don't even know what Gonal-F IS. Something to do with nuns piss, or synthetic FSH that Chinese hamsters make. All I know is - I need 150ml of it every night, to help grow as many follies/eggs as I can. And that usually, after the injection, I walk back downstairs singing Wa Wa Nee's "Stimulation" - 'All I need to get is stimulation, so get me up against the wall ...'
Oooooh, pass the popcorn the suspense is killing me. Holy crap. I'm quite excited now. I believe the worst part about IVF is the WAITING beforehand. Always felt like a waste of valuable time to me. These eggs aren't getting any younger!
Poor Mr TC - during Rove tonight, I googled video footage of a PESA procedure and showed him. He lay sprawled on the lounge, transfixed, cupping his balls, howling. I felt sorry for him and overwhelmed with love - so he got lucky tonight. Ahem ...