I totally feel so motherfucking much better .... the awful, relentless fear I've had since Mr TCs funny turn the other night is finally starting to lift. I was starting to get so over myself, as the only thing that has helped this week was climbing into my bed with my laptop at the end of the day and letting loose. I was starting to get so embarassed about being stuck in the mire.
Mr TC has chemo tomorrow, he is absolutely dreading it. He asked me to book a ticket for stepson to come back ... on Sunday. Ummmm, shit. I feel strangely ok about it, right here in this moment. My theory is, we can't handle any more clusterfucks, so perhaps stepson coming back is going to be a positive thing. I love him, very much. He lived with us for six years, that's a lot of memories, history, laughs.
Wondering incessantly all over again if Mr TC was going to die just threw me for a six, along with being quite worn down with the Fiasco.
It'll be ok. It will.