Thursday, 2 October 2008

Recent Conversations in my House

Playing DS next to Tiger, I randomly realised I could bray like a donkey. The likeness was uncanny.

Me: "Hee-haw!!"
Tiger: "Doooonn't."
Me: "But it sounds exactly like a donkey. Hee-haw!!"
Tiger: "Don't mum!"
Me: "HEE-HAW!"
Tiger: Pauses his game and looks at me sternly. "Stop it mum! You are being so annoying to me!"
I stopped, suitably chastened.

______

Monkeys cradle cap is DISGUSTING. My sister Tee tells me to put oil on it. I walk up to her with a can of spray cooking oil.
Me: Deadpan "Can you hold him, and I'll just spray this on his head."
She looked at me like WTF!!!! We pissed ourselves laughing.

______

After I SLATHER the guys head in oil, Mr TC gets him up after a nap.
Mr TC: "What the fuck have you done to him!"
I told him I put oil on his cradle cap.
Mr TC: "Oh, hon. You need to dry it out in the sunshine, not put oil on it!"
Me: "No, it's oil."
Mr TC: "Sun."
Me: "Oil!"
Mr TC: "Sun! Sun! Sun!"
Me: Grabbing Monkey, running away, desperately trying to get the last word. "Oil. Oil. Oil. La la la la la ..." Slams door.

_____

Driving in the car ...
Mr TC: "Geez, I've got a few pimples."
Me: "I know, the chemo has given them to you. Looks a bit like acne."
*Crickets*
(Mr TC is so proud about his appearance. He thinks for a moment.)
Mr TC: "Well. Look at your toe hairs!"
(It's true, for some ridiculous reason I used to shave my toe hair as a kid, and now it looks like pubes growing from my toes.)
Me: "Piss off!"
Mr TC: "Well you're telling me I'm an acne head! I'd blunt my razor on those toes of yours!"

_____

My sister said my life is a sitcom.

13 comments:

MrsSpock said...

Yep...totally sitcom-worthy.

J had cradle cap. I only wash his hair ponce a week, and then I exfoliate it with a soft brush. All that dead skin is disgusting.

Wordgirl said...

fuck that's funny.

I literally was laughing from the beginning -- it sounds like something G and I would do -- and um, well - I could blunt a few razors...thank GOD I'm not the only one...

XO

Pam

Marie said...

I gotz the toe hair too :o

bleu said...

Soooo funny, and sorry ance head, it is totally oil for cradle cap. I like almond oil.

Matthew M. F. Miller said...

Please make a YouTube video of the donkey noise. For some reason I really want to hear it for myself.

Gemini Girl said...

life is def a sitcom!

cradle cap: Soleil had a bad case, I put baby oil on it, and then took a tiny baby hair brush and massaged it out in circles. It helped a lot!

Carrie Ann said...

Too funny about the toes!
Regarding the cradle cap, my little guy had a horrible case of it. We tried everything but then my sister in law told us to just take a washcloth and rub it off in the bath. Sounded kind of harsh to me, but my husband rubbed it all off in one bathtime and it was great. Didn't hurt the little one at all. No more yucky flakes!

Evil Stepmonster said...

TC TV! Now that would be something worth watching!

Stacie said...

You are too funny. Am I the only nut who has used Selson Blue (dandruff shampoo) on her kids' cradle cap? I used a loofa (how do you spell that word?) to loosen up the dry skin while the shampoo was on their heads. Did it three times. No more cradle cap.

nancy said...

Sweet. Awesome convos.

We did the oil for cradle cap. I put baby oil all on her head and scrubbed it into her scalp. It took about 4 consecutive washes of baby shampoo to get her non-oily, but I never saw another flake of cradle cap since.

OHN said...

I used baby oil on all three boys heads and let it sit a bit then gently combed through their teeny bit of hair. It took some time (I had to let their heads "rest" so they wouldn't get sore so it took about an hour) but I got it all out and it never came back :)

TC, I am looking to your posts for strength. You have been through the cancer war and are coming out on the other side, I think my war has just begun.

Vacant Uterus said...

ARGH!! Bloglines dropped you from my feed AGAIN and I thought you hadn't posted and I MISSED ALL THIS STUFF!!! AAARGH!

I'm going to catch up now. Please don't think I don't love you. I do!

vamplita said...

Geez, warn a person, will ya??

I nearly hurt myself laughing at the image of pube-y toe hair. :oÞ

That's simply too funny to just throw out there without some kind of warning label, woman. People could get hurt.

XOXO