Tuesday, 14 October 2008

Break it Down

Last night I dreamt that the world was running out of oxygen. I was on a train, and people started turning blue. I ran, jumped up on to a telegraph wire, as lava streamed through the city. I saw Tiger and Monkey and scooped them up. The world was about to end.

In real life, my coffee machine AND MODEM is broken. Life is not worth living without internet access. Yesterday I drove around the streets near my house, trying to hack into to someones wireless. They were all security-enabled. I mean, c'mon! Where did all the trusting people go? This morning, I drove to an internet cafe - shut. Skanky video store with computers - not working. I pushed Monkey up the street in his pram, sweating, my hair looks SHIT, fighting back my tears. I hate this town. I hate the people in this town. Alternative FREAKS. I have said to Mr TC for years that I don't want to live here anymore. He will not be the only one to re-assess everything after his chemo.

Stepson coming back is a huge shock. I'm not sure what I can do .... the only, only thing that has helped me get throught the last few months is having my own space, at home. Especially after everyone has gone to bed at night. His room is upstairs ... almost directly above me.

It's not fair to him, to feel unwelcome from me. And I'm not being unwelcoming, I just don't know if I can live with him. He started looking through every drawer and cupboard, checking everything out. His phone kept ringing. Tiger thinks the Messiah himself has arrived, so excited and overwhelmed is he that his big brother is back.

I just went to bed early, cried myself into such a state that I rang my sister Tee, who consoled me with stories like her husbands work friend who got the letter W tattooed on each bum cheek, so that when he bent over, it spelt WOW. She saw the photo to prove it.


My miraculous, 4-celled IVF baby has woken up. Clutching his little Beru Bear in his fist, smiling at me with his little red hoodie on. I have to stop typing now. He gets the shits when I'm on my computer - or if I'm preoccupied doing anything else but concentrating on him.


So, without further ado, I announce the winner of the great Downunder Dork-Off 08 Plate. It was very, very close. I can't talk to Mr TC right now, so my sister chose the runner-up and winner. In second place, Kate at It is Tuesday, Right?. Kate posted a LOT of pics, all equally dorkified in their glory. Way to go, Kate!!

Now, the winner. Well, there could only ever be one winner. I'd like to thank all of you who entered ... I will be emailing you to ask your addresses, so I can send some Aussie chocolate your way! Maybe even an Australia tea towel if you're lucky!

The winner is ...



Oh, Pam. I have no words, for Worgirl. Look how beautiful you are now, though. For therein lies the big secret .... dorks grow up to be amazing, beautiful COOL creatures. You win the plate! AND some choc.

I am now leaving this internet bookstore. I don't know where to go - I don't want to go home. I am ITCHING for anyone to stop me, and grill me about Mr TC. Itching, I tell you.


bleu said...

I would let ya hack off my wireless anytime hunny bunny!!

Evil Stepmonster said...

A very worthy winner! I love that photo!

I'm sorry stepson is causing you angst TC. The only thing that keeps my stepkids from moving in with us is that we are too far from their friends, I bet he won't last long TC. And if it gets too hard, send him on his way, you need to put yourself and your family first. Your dreams know this.

Vacant Uterus said...

Congrats, Pam and Kate!!

Nightmares must be in the air; I keep dreaming of hurt children. Am really, really ready for that to stop.

I wish I knew what to say about the rest of it. I hope Stepson is considerate of you. I hope your modem gets fixed. (I would die without the net. DIE.) I hope Monkey smiles all your troubles into oblivion.


Stacie said...

I bow to Pam and Kate! Display your dork-off trophy with pride. :-)

T, California is a callin'. Are you hearing it? Anytime you are ready for an escape, we're here waiting.

Much love as always.

MrsSpock said...

Yes- life cannot go on without the Internet!

kateypie35 said...

If for any reason Pam is unable to fulfill her Queen Dork duties ... as runner-up I am fully prepared to assume the responsibilities of the position.

*pageant wave* *fake tears*

Wordgirl said...


It's so shocking to see that photo appear on someone else's website! EEEK.

I am so honored by this memorial plate and will give it an honorable spot :) It was the jeans wasn't it? This might be the first time I've ever had GOOD associations with that photo.

Oh TC, I find that this connection to you, to all of you -- is so invaluable to me that if I were disconnected I would be knocking on any door that would have me. I can imagine how disruptive your step-son's arrival must be -- I have transition periods with W even in the best of times.

The good thing about teenagers is that they are so wrapped up in their own world -- perhaps he'll spend a lot of time away from home -- and I, of course, being the eternal optimist -- hope that his presence is going to bring some small gift that you can't see yet --

Maybe you can encourage your ss to have outings with Mr TC -- let them have some alone time and then you and Monkey and Tiger can have down time...

Listen to me -- all full of ideas when what I really want to do is be there (and not just because you crowned me Queen of the Dorks.)



Anonymous said...

wordgirl def deserved to win!

nancy said...

pam totally deserves the win!


Fuck. I had something else to say. And I've forgotten.

Geohde said...

Oh my...

I stuttered into a horrified halt at the thought of no coffee OR internet.

That would make my life unliveable, just about!


battynurse said...

No coffee or internet?? that just sucks by epic proportions. Hope something gets fixed soon. Also hope the step son thing goes ok. Hugs to you.

Lori said...

I totally missed this post!

This photo of Pam is the right choice, and if I'm going to have a geek adversary, I'm glad it's her.

I bet she beat me only by a sliver.

GREAT CONTEST! Make sure to run it again (although I won't be able to enter -- I shot my wad this go round).